Your Ministry Family

Paul lays out what the qualifications are for a leader in 1 Timothy 3. A church leader must be, "...an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a love of money... he must manage his own household well...he must not be a recent convert...moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders..." So there are lots of qualifications we will need to attain in order to become the kind of leader God has for us to be. One of the most important things we must know how to do is balance our family and the ministries we lead. There are great challenges those families in ministry face.

 Time management is a huge issue for leaders trying to find balance in our family lives and ministry lives. I have talked and seen much hardship on men in ministry. Many of my friends who are in ministry are mid 20's to mid 30's, and most are married and have at least one child. Having a family is great, to me it is the important thing, but ministry can be huge burden on the family. If we allow the ministry to absorb all of our time and efforts, then there is none left over for our spouse, there is no energy to go play with our kids. This does not please God. He has placed us as men as the leaders of our household, and we must find a balance of time and energy to our families and our ministries. And if one of them must be held above the other, it is your family.

Another struggle of a family in ministry can be the expectations of other people. When we are in leadership of any ministry, our families are looked at in a different perspective. There is great pressure placed on them. People may have unrealistic expectations of what our wives should be like, and how our kids should behave. There are unrealistic expectations of how our families should act or if other family members should be involved in the same ministries. People may think that a pastor's wife should be the most obedient woman to her husband. But we forget the fact that though people maybe in spiritual leadership positions, they are still imperfect human beings, and we cannot expect perfection from imperfect people. People shouldn't expect our four year old to sit still, listen, and be the perfect little kid. Regardless of how great a leader we may or may not be, they are still a four year old. And, trust me, kids don't listen a lot of the time. The key for a family to overcome these expectations is to just remember they are serving the heart of God, not the hearts of man.

In order for our families to overcome the challenges of ministry, we must have the priorities of the ministry clear. The number one priority of our ministries should be our family. They will have the greatest impact in the service of our ministry. They will be our greatest asset and our greatest challenge. With our family as our team, we need to allow them to feel safe. We need to protect them from those who may choose to harm them with their words. Our ultimate calling in ministry is raising up our family in the grace of God. To do that, we must continue to abide in God. When we remain in Him, he will protect us and bless us.